Why Do We Feel That We Have Lost Out?

This is a familiar thought, especially to those of us who are millennials, Gen X or before.

Why do we constantly kick ourselves? The thought of going back in time to change the outcome plays on our minds. The impossible thoughts plague us making us feel like losers.

And we do try. We wake up in the morning with the best of resolves and work hard but at the end of the day or month, the thought of not really achieving anything unsettles us.

In Chapter 2, Verse 2, Krishna asks Arjuna:

“O Arjuna, why has this weakness come upon you at this crucial moment? It is not befitting a noble person; it does not lead to higher worlds, but to disgrace.”

Hindu classes for children will teach you the perils of giving in to gloom. Imagine someone experiencing self-doubts thousands of years ago and feeling totally dejected. Lucky for Arjuna, he had Krishna as his mentor. We are not that lucky and often have no one to really confide in. The thought of being ridiculed for having foolish thoughts is a constant worry. Then we have our spouses who may be too busy for such thoughts or they may wave it off by suggesting ‘a break.’ While this may be a well-intentioned advice, it may not work if the feeling is deep-rooted.

1. What to do?

Take heart for it does not lead to disgrace if you tell yourself that you are not alone. And that, this time next year, you will not feel this.

You have to work on this thought and really convince yourself.

2. What to do after?

The second most important task to do is to get to the root of what has unsettled you. It may all in your mind or may not be. Most of the time, it is in your mind. You may be looking at the issue in an extrapolative way. It could be something that could happen easily but you took it too personally.

Another fact is that ghastly situations happen to all of us. This is not our fault. It could just happen that way.

If you really want to avoid undesirable outcomes from affecting you, try a new strategy. Gita classes for teenagers will teach them the ‘home truths’ that help to create a balanced view of life and adopt new strategies.

3. What Strategy to use?

Do not place all your eggs in one basket. Place your work in different areas. Have different facets to your life. Try doing different kinds of work. Appreciate the pleasure that each one of them can bring. You have to be creative about this and compartmentalise your time with different kinds of work. Create it if you must. Make sure that it is scheduled weekly, daily or monthly. The rewards will come in slowly. If one aspect is not working, you can take heart in the fact that another part is rewarding and fulfilling. The eventual outcome is that by not keeping all your eggs in one basket, you streamline the negative feeling and it becomes compartmentalised.

In other words, it does not affect you that much.

A lady who may be a stockbroker will find her life stressful from time to time. It could even be unbearable. But if she signs up for Latin dancing and is doing rather well in it, this will offset the stress from her stockbroking job.

There is very little chance of really feeling lost out if you feel you are being useful in some way. All of us thrive on usefulness. We are programmed that way. Society expects us to be that way and we are constantly measured, assessed and made to justify.

Well, take an escape route from this pressure and learn to beat the game. We do not have to feel like losers. And since Sri Krishna Paramathma is not exactly here amidst us to ‘mentor’, we can still gain from the ancient words of his.

He says, “… it does not lead to higher worlds, but to disgrace.”

In other words, he is saying that we should not succumb to this but to get to a better or higher state of mind by changing our mindset and lifestyle. Bhagavad Gita classes for children focus on positive thinking. While this may be harder for adults, we owe it to ourselves to try.

It is easier said than done but try doing it a little at a time. Just a little. You may not have to sign up for a Latin dance class but you can most certainly grow a beautiful plant and watch it grow and bloom. Thriving from simple actions like this will lead to our escape. It is worth a try.