Why do we Blame Ourselves?

Blame bears a heavy weight. It is a self-accusatory finger pointed back at ourselves. It can be for anything. If your child does not perform well in school, you blame yourself. If you cooked a dish that did not muster up any credit, you blame yourself and if you really push yourself to do something beyond the pale – like organising a party … and you heard the negative comments, you blame yourself bitterly.

Why do we do this?

Why do we keep blaming ourselves time and again?

The First thing that happens when you blame yourself

Firstly, you hurt yourself. Yes, you hurt the part of yourself that is very precious and pure. Your inner psyche, ego or your confidence or your soul. There are many words for this but you know that deep within yourself exists a pure part of yourself. If you bruise it too many times, it can be hurt permanently and it will take a long time to get it back and running in top form. During our weekly Gita Classes for adults we discuss the need to praise yourself.

The Second thing that happens when you blame yourself

The next consequence of self-blame is that you open yourself to criticism. There are others watching you when you continually blame yourself and it becomes easy for them to either shift the blame onto you even if you are not culpable OR to manipulate you as they see a weak opening. Remember our earlier blog about ‘energy vampires’? They will be the ones to track you down and benefit from your constant self-recrimination. They will find it easy to cite you for any grievance and you may end up being the scape goat. Of course, this is in extreme cases. If this happens, reach out to your fellow brothers and sisters. We are here and can be reached at our Bhagavad Gita classes at the Holytree Temple.

Anyway, the point is why should you allow your vulnerability to be exploited? We all have our vulnerabilities but we need to keep it to ourselves.

The Blame game is part of our sub culture in our society. Why?

High expectations are the key to inducing the blame game. We all feel the need to reach the high standards set up by our peers and the media. Reaching it and maintaining it is stressful. I constantly reiterate on the preciousness of the self at our Gita classes for children. Our children know the 18 Great Verses and are conversant with the beauty and grace of Sri Krishna.

Maybe a quick review of our tasks will be helpful.

Nevertheless the aim of this blog is to relieve you of blame. Do not blame yourself, my dear brother or sister. It is not worth. Blame is like a cancer. It will eat away at your positive energy and lead to self-doubt.

Give yourself a break and say this.

“I am a wonderful person.”

“I always give my best.”

Sounds good?

From today onwards, whenever you feel you should blame yourself or if someone tries to make you feel like you ought to, take heed. Remember that this is unwanted Negative Energy. You don’t need this.

Remind yourself that you don’t need this. You are a wonderful person remember?

And feel the positive energy flooding through you. That is the next step toward positive action and feeling.

My parting shot is this. Life is short, let’s make it sweet.