Is fighting sometimes the only way to move forward?

What the Gita says about fighting

In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna told Arjuna that the only way for them to move forward was to face the enemy and fight.

We all know what happened next. The ensuing war was so violent and destructive that surviving generations spoke of it in hushed tones. It was the worst sort of war when a brother killed a brother (albeit cousins) and trickery was used to win the day.

Everyday saw a new plan being hatched and a sly hand at word behind the brave warriors who literally bloodied the land till it was strewn with the lifeless bodies. In our Hindu classes for children, the reason for the Kurukshetra is taught from the age of 4. Every child knows what results in fighting.

Emotional Fights

Fighting is always a last resort. And the worst sort of fight is the one that results from emotional surges. Nothing good comes from it and the result always cripples the perpetrator. The backfiring consequences of a fight that begins in the heat of the moment never add up to anything good.

Today’s Fights

Today, the biggest fight are on the war fields from afar. They are fought through tactical desert warfare ambushes and victims face bombs hurtling from aerial warfare. Then looming at the back of all this is the ever present threat of a nuclear war. No one wants that but the threat is always there. Menacing and insidious. As Hindus, we are supposed to be a tolerant people. Hindu classes in Singapore advocate peace, tolerance and harmony and this is at variance with much of the actions in our world today.

Fighting Everyday

Not all the fights are literal fights. We fight every day.

Yes, we do.

We fight the urge to smoke.

We fight the urge to drink.

We fight the urge to say something rude to someone who is rude.

We fight the urge to eat that delicious lava cake. (substitute with your favourite poison)

We fight the urge to keep sleeping when we know we must be awake.

These are real fights that we handle from within.

Sometimes the fights are won and sometimes lost, sadly.

Fighting the best sort of fight is to lay a goal. Make it an easy one like not going for second helping at dinner. Or not having dessert. Or not watching Netflix this weekend but to go out.

That is a psychological fight. The kind that relies on mental tenacity. Ok. What other fights do we have?

Fighting at Home

We sometimes fight or quarrel with our loved ones. Why do we do this when we love them.

Do we have to fight the ones we love the most? Conversely, does it mean we are considerate to the ones who don’t really mean much to us?

We are kind to the ones whom we work with. The minute we return home, we start barking out at our loved ones.

Don’t get me wrong. This is not a personal diatribe against you 😊 

The point is, we may not even be conscious that we are yelling. It could be just ‘normal’ talking. The other person thinks it is yelling.

Has this happened, my dear friend?

Ok. This is not a good way to ‘fight.’ It may seem inconsequential even but the feelings can grow to become something altogether negative and that can hang in the air causing discomfort to all within the home.

Brush away such tendencies and incorporate a kinder tone when you’re at home. During our Gita classes for teenagers, we often incorporate games where love and kindness is shown.

The Worst Sort of Fight

The worst sort of fight is to actually land physical blows but most people fight tactically or fight on ‘paper.’ Divorces, contractual threats, suing and blackmail are fights that can cause real damage to someone. Why do we arrive at this? Defending yourself from this is important. Yes, there are people who are hell-bent on victimizing others and especially today, when there are opportunists and mercenaries around, it will be a good idea to adopt some techniques to safeguard yourself.

I will have more tips to safeguard yourself in my next blog. In the meanwhile, my dear friends, be kind to your loved ones. We teach the following truth in our Bhagavad Gita classes for children. In the words of the Paramathma,

"Whoever offers Me with devotion a leaf, a flower, a fruit, or water, I accept that offer of love from the pure-hearted." (Chapter 9, Verse 26)

Love is always at the heart of the Gita. Let us be loving and receive all the love we deserve to get.